Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Korean Tacos or Stop it, I'm Being Trendy.

It's been a while since my last post because 1. I have lost the will to live and 2. My office's internet browser is from 1993 (when I had a Mac Classic and thought I was living in the future) and I can't blog at work. THE NERVE.

When it comes to being trendy, I am crap. When you like reading Barbara Pym in college, lying under a down comforter while all your friends are getting high and having orgies, there's just no way you're ever going to be on the cutting edge. Oh please. On my best day I was miles away from a cutting edge. I was, like, a rural peasant in the land of dull butter knives. Did I mention I was wearing ear plugs and one of those sleep masks while I was reading about vicars? I rest my case.

 So we've established that I am not cool, right? So when I became aware of Korean Tacos I was ruefully aware that anyone in a city had been wallowing in them for at least a year. I don't care. They are delicious, and they're a nice change from the usual stuff you get at the Jersey Shore. Do you know how many goddam restaurants have Chicken Murphy on their menus?

 There's a new food stand, Mogo, on the Asbury Park boardwalk, and my is it delicious. I don't care if there are ethnic fusion food trucks all over the eastern seaboard-- in Monmouth County, Korean Tacos are frigging exciting. Luckily, the chicken tacos are extremely easy to make.

 Here's what you need:

  • Flour burritos, the smaller the better
  • Chicken thighs, diced 
  • Soy Sauce
  • The juice of one lime 
  • 2 cloves of minced garlic. Or really, however much garlic you feel. You know, emotionally. 
  • Maybe two tablespoons of minced fresh ginger. Again, take this as an opportunity to check in with yourself. Light some candles, take a bath, listen to Enya. Then judge how much ginger you need. Are you, in fact, in a ginger place right now? Sorry, where was I? 
  • Asian Slaw-- you can get this packaged in your salad section, or, if you are a better person than I am, you can shred Napa cabbage, carrots, a little celery, a little red cabbage. My supermarket is awesome and sells it in a package.
  •  Maybe four scallions, diced

 Dice your chicken and then marinate it in the soy sauce, lime juice, garlic, and ginger for at least six hours. I'm saying do it in the morning and then stop it before dinner. STOP IT. Saute the chicken until it's cooked through. I suppose you could stir fry it, but I suck at that sort of thing. I cook it as efficiently as possible without burning it, let's put it that way, and I use vegetable oil because I think it has a higher smoking point or whatever the hell that's called. Keep the marinade and when the chicken's cooked almost all the way through, throw it in. Then add the Asian slaw stuff and stir fry it, or do a reasonable facsimile thereof. Which. Upon. Whatever. It's past my bedtime, people. Now, sprinkle the freshly cut scallions on top and spoon the filling into burritos.

I like to smear the burritos with a little Hoisin sauce, but if you do that please don't use the freaking fake crap. Use THIS, please. 
Okay, now enjoy, but be aware-- it's very drippy. Get yourself some towelettes. Or better yet, force one of your loved ones to present you with a steaming towel, preferably scented with lime. Good luck with that, by the way.

I don't know about you, but I'm exhausted.